The Process Consult

Last week, we discussed the idea of how to get your spouse on board with pursuing a Collaborative Divorce.  One of the options discussed was The Process Consult. 

So—what is a “Process Consult”?

Quite simply, it is a joint consultation wherein the parties meet with a Divorce Coach--i.e., a mental health professional who not only specializes in family therapy for divorcing couples but has—more importantly—been trained in the Collaborative Divorce Process and is prepared to work with the parties to facilitate a peaceful divorce and establish a parenting plan during the process.

The unique aspect of The Process Consult is that the parties will be provided identical information about the Collaborative Divorce Process and can express their concerns with one another in a safe and friendly environment.  It removes the lawyers and the typical bleed between process vs. results and focuses solely on the process.  It emphasizes the maintenance of the parties’ relationship as co-parents as the ultimate desired outcome. 

For couples who are not at the same mental/emotional stage of accepting the reality of a divorce it helps “soften the blow” as the spouse is saved from the shock of receiving correspondence from an attorney. 

For couples who are both ready to proceed it helps them make a joint decision on how to end their marriage—no different than how they made a joint decision on how to start their marriage. 

While The Process Consult is not a therapy session, it may be therapeutic. 

At a minimum it will educate the parties and present the option of Collaborative Divorce in an unbiased, neutral setting—enabling each individual to gain knowledge and perspective before making their own determination as to how to proceed with their divorce.

David Cardamone